We hopped off the train around eleven and had no idea where to even begin, as we couldn't see the place from the train station. Thanks to my amazing powers of deductive reasoning, we managed to stalk a pair of Asian tourists to our destination. I know how it sounds, but they looked and acted like tourists and got off at the same spot. It wasn't exactly difficult to put the pieces together.
Anyway, we got there and were just kinda taken aback by how traditional and pretty the place looked. I'd do more to describe it, but I'll just let the pictures below speak for themselves. Also, this is going to be a pretty long post. Just a heads up. I took a lot of pictures.
The torture museum was awesome. We saw all kinds of evil looking and painful things, including racks, execution wheels, and shame masks. A lot of shame masks. Like seriously, pretty much every room had about four shame masks in cases. I eventually stopped taking pictures of them due to the sheer number. Also, being any kind of tradesman in the middle ages must have sucked. Didn't do your job right? Torture! I'm not even kidding. Bakers seemed to get the worst from what we saw. Apparently baking your bread too small or too large got you strapped to a chair and drowned as punishment.
After that, we had lunch at this wonderful little restaurant, where Matt had to pay for water. Guess we take a lot of stuff like that for granted in the States... Then, we got to walk the walls of the city, which was just awesome. The views were too breathtaking for me to do justice with a description. Fortunately, I took more pictures! There was also a lot of talk of death, due to us trying to figure out how exactly a garrison would have defended the city. Also, as with any relatively tall structure with visible ledges and loose bricks, there were a lot of Assassin's Creed references.
Overall, it was a great day! Couldn't ask for a better start to this odyssey.
And now, a metric shit-ton of pictures. Enjoy!
Boba Fett experiencing his first train ride.
Flat Sarah and I admire this pretty fountain.
Matt, Jon, and Chris walking the streets of Rothenburg ob der Tauber.
Seriously, just look at that. So picturesque...
We never actually found out what this building was, but doesn't Jon look good in front of it?
Flat Sarah's been a bad girl...
Old paddy-wagons! Probably used for carrying witches. Nicholas Cage not included (unfortunately).
These guys loved their spikes. Seriously, it was uncommon to find something NOT adorned with sharp metal...
Attaching Boba Fett to the hanging stretching rack. I was trying to make him taller.
Another stretching rack!
No hope...
The ones that look like bulbs in the upper left? Yeah, those go in your mouth... and your butt...
Various harnesses. None of them look comfortable, but I guess that's sort of the point.
The first of about a billion shame masks we saw in the museum.
This is a double neck violin. Quarreling women or quarreling couples were strapped into it until they decided to stop fighting. Apparently it was pretty effective.
Another shame mask. These things were used in conjunction with chaining the person up in public and meant to severely damage their honor.
Various methods of punishment for various crimes.
And you thought Crocs were the most obnoxious shoes ever...
And another shame mask! Starting to sense a pattern?
Some of these masks look awesome. If they weren't made of metal that I assume is preposterously heavy, I'd want to wear them for fun.
Executioner's swords. These things look so heavy you probably don't even need to swing to kill someone with these. Just lift it above your head and go limp.
Chastity belts! These look uncomfortable. And unsanitary. I don't want to think about this anymore...
This a shame flute. It seems bad musicians were punished too. Can we give Nicki Minaj one of these?
See how many horrible methods of torture you can spot in the picture!
The barrel in the back was used to punish drunks. The stick in front was used to catch witches, as even touching them was considered dangerous.
More of the adorable torture diorama.
Run to the hiiiiillls! Ruuun fooor yooour liiiiiiiiiifffeee! Ooops, wrong Iron Maiden...
Looks like a cross between an elephant and a bird. Apparently that tube whistles when the person inside breathes.
Another shame mask. Told you there were a lot of these things....
I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what this is depicting. I just love the face the guy in the middle is making.
This particular shame mask is for those who told lewd jokes. I would wear this thing with pride.
Get beat by your wife? You get the roof torn off your house. Stern, but fair...
"Modern" gallows.
Why am I convinced these were used for pirates?
Executioners. Stylish as fuck.
Before there were banks, there were ridiculously intricate chests to protect your money. Considering how complicated modern banking can be, I'd say not much has changed...
This is an executioner's mask. I have no idea why it has a mustache.
On the right, an executioner's ax. On the left, the SWORD OF JUSTICE!!! It was mainly used for cutting off hands.
Make sure to measure your fish, boys and girls!
Whips and flails. Hawt.
These were used for execution. First, the victim was tied down, then beaten all over with the wheel until he was dead and each limb was absolutely pulverized. Then, the arms and legs were looped through the spokes of the wheel and the body was displayed for all to see. How pleasant.
These are just a bunch of old skeleton keys. I don't have a quip for these, I just thought they looked really ornate and cool.
Baked break too small or too large or just not perfect in general? Prepare to be strapped into this and dunked in the river.
Thou shall count to three....
We thought we'd get a picture with this sexy hunk of metal. That's right, I did the hover hand.
Chris and Matt attempting to decide what to order from the mostly German menu in the restaurant where we ate lunch.
Whenever I look at this picture, all I can think of is how paranoid I was about dropping my phone as I leaned out to take it.
It was amazing how far into the valley and how much of the rest of the city you could see from the walls.
We were all pretty sure that this confined space is where invading armies came to die.
Boba Fett found some upgraded firepower.
An old amphitheater we found while walking the walls of the city.
Yeah, I'm that immature. Did you really expect anything else?
I told you these views were breathtaking...
Best stair pic or best stair pic?
The view from the walls of the city looked like something out of a postcard.
If it weren't for the cars lining the streets, you might actually believe you'd been transported back to the middle ages.
This guy loves his bunnies and cats.
Behold! The magic panorama photoooooooo!
Cool! I think you need to ask for tap water specifically if you don't want to get charged, they default to mineral water I think...
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